CHILD LYING
 
Common reasons for child lying....
Child Lying
By Vanessa Rasmussen, © 2006-2010, All rights reserved.
Lying
is an intentional misrepresentation of reality, as distinguished from the
innocent fantasy common to preschoolers whose notion of truth and falsehood
has yet to develop clearly. Children lie for a number of different
reasons,
and in many cases it is a normal part of development.. That is a fact most
parents would attest to with utter dismay. They don't seem to need instruction
on lying or any encouragement to do so. Children exaggerate, twist the truth,
hide the facts, manufacture stories, and deny the obvious. Children may also
lie to avoid being punished or because they are imitating adult behavior.
Preschoolers often don't yet understand that
lying is wrong and dishonest. Because of this, parents probably should not
punish their preschoolers for lying. Instead, parents should, when their children
lie, use the occasions as teaching opportunities to teach your child the difference
between right and wrong. When their preschooler lies, parents should take
the opportunity to teach their child why lying is wrong. It is important to
encourage your child to tell the truth and provide him with a good role model,
by telling the truth yourself and not lying. Avoid punishing your child too
severely when she does finally confess for any misdeeds, or she may avoid
telling truth next time.
Children might lie because they are afraid
of their parents' temperament. It is not surprising that constantly angry,
shouting, rigid or restrictive parents often encounter compulsively lying
children. Honest communication develops when you allow room for negotiation,
compromise, listen before accusing, and keep your volume down when dealing
with your children when they lie or even tell the truth. If these are isolated
episodes, you have little to worry about and should remain calm. If these
bad behaviors become more of a habit, then you may have a problem and may
need to seek professional help to find out why it is happening. If your child
lies out of habit, you might want to give the child an opportunity to retract
the lie without fear of consequences.
Children might lie to impress others, boast
their self esteem, to get something that they want or even to protect someone
they love. Parents should let their children know that telling the truth lets
other people know that they can be trusted. They should also let their children
know that lying is dishonest, and there are often negative consequences for
lying. Communicate effectively with your children. Research shows that in
households where children have open and communicative relationship with their
parents, they are less likely to lie to them. Set a good example for your
child, so that it will be easier for him/her to learn right from wrong behaviors.
If lying is not addressed at all, children
will not develop a clear sense of truth and falsehood, nor an understanding
of the importance of honesty in personal and social relationships. Children's
natural sense of right and wrong will eventually be deadened if they do not
receive consistently appropriate cues from the adults in their lives. When
adults ignore lying, or even reward it by allowing children to get what they
want by lying, children can become desensitized to their guilt. A child with
a desensitized conscience may grow into an adult with little self-control.
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